What drag taught me about authentic leadership
Updated: Oct 12
My son Christian is an incredible drag queen, and as Aimee Amour, he dazzles with creativity and artistry. I am Aimee’s number one fan. Watching Christian bring Aimee to life—whether in person or through his social media (@theaimeeamour)—leaves me speechless every time. His transformations are truly jaw-dropping. On a recent trip to visit him and his husband Kyle in New York, Christian asked what I’d like to do during our visit. I knew without hesitation: it was time for my drag debut.
What followed was an unforgettable experience, one that not only transformed me outwardly but also taught me profound lessons about authentic leadership. Through the process, I saw firsthand how Christian’s years of trial and error, expert consultation, and a commitment to his craft had made him the phenomenal drag queen he is today. Those same qualities—intentionality, patience, and a willingness to embrace vulnerability—are essential to developing others into their full potential. And they’re just as crucial for leaders.
Transformation and elevation
The first lesson I learned was this: transformation takes time. My son didn’t just throw makeup on my face and call it done. He built my drag persona with intention, layer by layer, starting with gluing down my eyebrows, reimagining the contours of my face, and wrapping things up with my new name, Cherie Amour. With each brushstroke and adjustment, I felt myself stepping into a new version of me—one that was bold, confident, and unapologetic.
Leadership is no different. Just as drag requires time and intention to amplify who you are, leadership demands a commitment to growth and self-elevation. It’s about showing up as the best version of yourself, not by pretending to be someone you’re not, but by leaning into the qualities that make you effective and inspiring. To lead authentically is to embrace this process of becoming.
The foundation of excellence: Trial and error
Christian didn’t become Aimee Amour overnight. His ability to transform me so seamlessly is the result of years of dedication—trying new techniques, consulting experts, seeking feedback, and failing more times than he probably cares to admit. The work he has put into his craft made it possible for him to take my raw materials and turn them into something extraordinary.
This is where drag mirrors leadership most closely. Great leaders don’t emerge fully formed. They develop through trial and error, through collaboration and mentorship. They learn from their mistakes and adapt, just as Christian did in his early days of drag. And just as his years of refining his skills allowed him to elevate me, effective leaders use their experience to develop and empower others.
Fear, vulnerability, and visibility
As my transformation neared completion, I felt a strange mix of emotions. On one hand, I was exhilarated. I looked bold, fierce, and more confident than I ever thought possible. But there was also vulnerability in being so visible. Drag demands that you step into the spotlight, and while that attention is thrilling, it can also be paralyzing. What if I didn’t live up to the persona I was portraying?
I struggled with poses, unsure of how to carry this bold new version of myself. As a beginner queen, I leaned on Aimee for direction, taking my cues from her expertise. As an experienced drag queen, she coached me with patience, showing me how to stand, tilt my head, and project confidence as queen Cherie Amour even when I felt uncertain. I wasn’t afraid to ask for help, and I learned that being willing to lean on others doesn’t make you less capable—it makes you stronger.
Emerging and new leaders should take this lesson to heart. Just because you’ve been given the title of a leader doesn’t mean you’re expected to know everything. No one, not even the most experienced, ever knows it all. Leadership is a constant journey of growth and development—just as it is for drag performers. Asking for help and being open to guidance isn’t a weakness; it’s a strength that allows you to learn and evolve.
Seeing leadership—and drag—differently
What surprised me most was how much deeper my appreciation became for professional drag performers like Aimee. Many of us think we know what it means to be in drag—glamorous, fun, and playful—but stepping into it, even for a single moment, reveals the immense skill, effort, and artistry it requires. The same is true for leadership. Stepping into a leadership role, even just once, can open your eyes to the complexities and challenges that leaders navigate every day. It’s easy to have a surface-level understanding of what a leader does, but it’s only through experience that you gain a real appreciation for the craft of leading.
Joy, pride, and empowerment
When we finally finished, I hardly recognized myself. I stood taller, smiled wider, and felt an unexpected joy bubbling up inside me. It wasn’t just about how I looked; it was about the way I felt—elevated, empowered, and connected to something greater.
Leadership carries this same potential for joy and pride. When you help others step into their potential, when you elevate their voices and celebrate their growth, you experience a fulfillment that transcends personal achievement. Leadership is at its most authentic when it creates shared moments of transformation.
What drag taught me about leadership
After this experience, I found myself wanting everyone to try drag at least once. Not because it’s easy—it’s not—but because it’s transformative. Drag challenges you to embrace vulnerability, to let go of perfectionism, and to see what’s possible when you lean into authenticity.
The parallels to leadership are undeniable. Leadership, like drag, is an art form. It requires effort, courage, and the willingness to grow. It’s about being seen, flaws and all, and using your platform to elevate others. It’s about trial and error, collaboration, and the joy of bringing people along for the journey.
As I stood there in full drag as “Cherie Amour,” proudly accompanying the glamorous Aimee Amour, I realized that the lessons of drag aren’t just for the stage—they’re for life, and especially for leadership. So if you ever have the chance to step into drag, take it. You might just discover what it truly means to lead with authenticity and pride.
