The illusion of binary thinking: Transgender bans, mixed-race erasure, and the pitfalls of arrested development

Well, here we are again. Another day, another attempt to erase people who don’t fit neatly into someone else’s limited worldview. On January 27, the Trump administration issued Executive Order 14183, banning transgender and gender dysphoric individuals from military service under the guise of “Prioritizing Military Excellence and Readiness.” The Pentagon wasted no time doubling down, swiftly implementing separation policies to push these service members out.

Now, let’s be clear: this isn’t about “military readiness.” This is about control. This is about fear. This is about people who can’t handle complexity, clutching their pearls at the idea that identity doesn’t always fit into the little boxes they’ve been socialized to believe are absolute.

And you know what? We’ve seen this before.

When people can’t think beyond their own limited schemas

For years, mixed-race people have had to deal with the same nonsense. The Census made us pick just one racial category until the year 2000. People still get confused when we don’t fit the neat little racial scripts they expect.

• “What are you?”

• “No, but what’s your real race?”

• “You have to pick a side.”

Sound familiar? Now, replace race with gender.

• “There are only two genders.”

• “You can’t just be something different.”

• “That’s not how it works.”

The same people who struggle to grasp that mixed-race people can exist beyond Black and White are the same ones who lose their minds when someone tells them they are trans or nonbinary.

That’s because they’re trying to navigate today’s world using an outdated map.

Schemas—aka, the mental frameworks that help us make sense of the world—are like GPS systems. When they’re up-to-date, they help you get where you need to go, adapting to new roads, new realities, and new ways of thinking.

But when they’re outdated? You end up lost, confused, and arguing with reality because your map doesn’t match what’s actually in front of you.

And if you’ve ever listened to Our True Colors, you might remember Dr. Victoria Malaney-Brown mentioning the concept of the ethno-racial pentagon—the five rigid racial categories (White, Black, Asian, Native American, and Pacific Islander) that shape how Americans are classified.

And just like the actual Pentagon, these structures weren’t designed to accommodate complexity—they were built for control.

So it’s no surprise that the same government that insists on a five-category racial pentagon is now doubling down on a two-category gender binary, enforcing policies that punish anyone who doesn’t fit.

And rather than hitting update (which, let’s be real, takes effort), some folks would rather force the rest of us to drive like it’s 1950—ignoring new routes, new understandings, and new truths.

But newsflash: the world has moved on.

Update your mental maps, or get left behind.

Outdated schemas keep us on old roads. Updated ones let us see the world as it is.

Arrested development: The people stuck in the pre-operational stage

Jean Piaget, the famous psychologist, described the pre-operational stage of childhood development (ages 2 to 7), where kids believe the world revolves around them. They struggle to understand perspectives other than their own.

Now, ideally, people grow out of this. Ideally.

But here we are in 2025, with grown adults—many in positions of power—who still haven’t figured out that their personal beliefs do not define reality. They can’t separate belief from fact because their egos won’t allow it. They think their discomfort is more important than someone else’s existence.

It’s the same kind of thinking as assuming everyone is in your time zone when scheduling a meeting or assuming everyone shares your childhood experiences when indulging in nostalgia. You know how frustrating it is when someone says, “Remember waking up to Saturday morning cartoons?” and you’re like, “Actually, I didn’t have cable”—or worse, they assume everyone had the same cultural references growing up?

Now, apply that level of self-centered thinking to identity, law, and policy. That’s what we’re dealing with.

And you know what that sounds like? Entitlement.

You don’t get to erase someone’s identity just because you don’t understand it. 

That’s a you problem. Not a them problem.

But nature says…

Oh, you think gender fluidity isn’t natural? Let’s talk science.

Plenty of species don’t adhere to a rigid male-female binary. Clownfish, for example, can switch sexes. And let’s be real—if clownfish can handle the fact that the female is the dominant one, and the male might need to become female if the situation calls for it, then maybe some people need to stop being so fragile about it.

Meanwhile, certain reptiles have their sex determined by environmental factors, not chromosomes. And even in humans, intersex people exist—a clear sign that nature doesn’t care about your little checkboxes.

So if the argument is, “biology says…”—guess what? Biology says you’re wrong.

Banning trans people from the military: The same old playbook

Let’s not pretend this is new.

• Black soldiers were once told they couldn’t serve.

• Women were once told they couldn’t handle combat.

• Gay and lesbian service members had to hide who they were under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell until 2011.

Each time, the excuse was “readiness” and “unit cohesion.” Each time, it turned out that the real problem wasn’t the people being excluded—it was the fragile egos of those trying to keep them out.

Now, they’re coming for trans service members. Same script, different cast.

And let’s talk about the irony here. Trans people are already serving—have been for years. Some of them are decorated officers, combat veterans, and leaders. You don’t get to suddenly decide they’re a “threat” because your ideology demands it.

What this means for the workplace

This mentality doesn’t stop at the military. It shows up in workplaces, too.

• The same people banning trans service members are the ones blocking trans and nonbinary professionals from leadership roles.

• The same people refusing to acknowledge gender fluidity are the ones struggling to grasp that Black and Brown people don’t all fit into neat, monolithic categories.

• The same people who insist, “It’s just the way it is,” are the ones clinging to an outdated world that doesn’t serve them—or anyone else.

We’ve seen this shift happening in real time. First, it was diversity that made people clutch their pearls. Then it was inclusion. Now, words like belonging and equity are being treated like radical, dangerous ideas. Even just acknowledging someone’s identity—whether that’s their race, gender, or lived experience—is enough to send some people spiraling into accusations of "wokeness."

So, let me ask you: What’s happening in your workplace?

• What words are suddenly being flagged as “too woke” even though they’re really just about treating people with decency?

• What changes in policy or leadership are making you wonder where things are headed?

• What are the unspoken rules now—the ones no one will put in writing but everyone seems to understand?

This isn’t just about trans rights or race. It’s about whether we’re moving forward or backward. Whether we’re choosing growth or arrested development.

Because here’s the deal—whether in the military, the workplace, or society at large—growth is a choice. You either keep up, or you get left behind.

And history shows us that the people fighting the hardest to maintain the status quo? They’re always the ones history forgets.

Your move.